[ It's either random, or it's directed. He cannot imagine random producing this particular group of people, which means directed. It means that she wants them to fail.
To be fair, for Silco, it's warped his motivations. The world is in danger? Well, everything is here. Jinx is here. That's all that matters. Sevika is also here, a secondary, a thorn in his side, a reminder of what he cannot be. It's all here. Why would he even bother with Runeterra? What good is there? An ailing city that will apparently be re-swallowed into Piltover? Despite his every effort?
What good is that?
He does it for Jinx, because she so desperately wants it to survive.
He doesn't understand it. He doesn't get it. What good is there? ]
I don't look that bad.
[ Stubbornly. She's on his lap, injector spinning. His head tipped back slightly. ]
I just haven't had my mediation. That's all. I've been working otherwise.
[ On what? It's difficult to say. There's no economy here. No struggle. No desperation. What is there to work on?
Then again, what was Silco without something to work on? ]
(Seems like the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. She had been thinking about leaving Zaun, taking flight somewhere far and unfamiliar. Without Silco, there was no reason to stay there anymore, and yet, she kept being pulled to his legacy even so. Perhaps, if he had just talked to her, she might tell him she gets it.
But he doesn't. All she sees is him withering, and is there something so undoing as a father slipping away? She's giving her usual signs that she's about to inject him, so he braces for the impact of shimmer.
It sucks big time.)
Right. Right, because that's why you're a skeleton. Can't fool me, Silco.
[ Wasn't it a parent's job to not talk about their worries? The little things (or big, in Silco's case) that kept them up. All the things that made him feel like his skin was itching in all the wrong places, the things that left him pacing. Thinking. Winding his brain in little circles, trying to figure them out. All the things that made him angry, because being angry is what keeps him from that pit always in the edge of his vision.
No. Being Angry. Being Driven. That's how one avoided it. That burgeoning despair. It was always there, but so much smaller. Now it's large. Now it threatens to swallow him whole, if he even dares look at it. Dares address it. ]
I've always been thin, Jinx.
[ He remarks. He waits for it, he'd waited for her to give it. It's... both familiar and not. He waits for it to come.
The anticipation is worse than the sting. ]
I even ate yesterday. I'm fine.
[ he's trying to distract himself from the incoming sting. ]
(The thing is, his daughter has grown a lot last he saw her. She's always taken care of him, the medicine, his business, his office even with her little gifts. Now that she has someone to really look after, she sees things differently. Jinx is, strangely enough, the responsible one. Sounds bad, kinda is, sorta, but it opened her eyes to a lot of things.
She knows he's always been thin. There's a difference between what is normal for him and 'eating yesterday as a parameter for good health', and it's not like he can't afford it. There's no money, there's no excuse. She tries to do it quick, a two punctures where it looks the worst, and she holds him so he can ride it with support.)
[ Two punctures. More than usual, but he jerks anyway, leaning into her while his fingers and toes wind, muscles tensed, everything all off-kilter while the shimmer (oh, sweet shimmer) does its work on him to finally soothe the pain, and the haziness in his eye. It'll take days of treatments to repair the loss, but...
He breathed out as a single tear gathered at the edge of his eye.
He breathed in. Breathed out. ]
Jinx, I'm alive. I'm not exactly going to throw away this opportunity.
[ See, the thing is, Silco had always been bout the cause. Without it, he's aimless. The cracks show. The fact that he was a dead man walking, barely living as it was before shows. He had been motivated by the mission, the need to fix it all, a promise that still settled low in his chest next to his heart, where it pounded over and over again.
He doesn't have that anymore, so what does he have? It's just Jinx. And what a position that puts his daughter into, doesn't it? ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2025-05-25 06:03 am (UTC)[ It's either random, or it's directed. He cannot imagine random producing this particular group of people, which means directed. It means that she wants them to fail.
To be fair, for Silco, it's warped his motivations. The world is in danger? Well, everything is here. Jinx is here. That's all that matters. Sevika is also here, a secondary, a thorn in his side, a reminder of what he cannot be. It's all here. Why would he even bother with Runeterra? What good is there? An ailing city that will apparently be re-swallowed into Piltover? Despite his every effort?
What good is that?
He does it for Jinx, because she so desperately wants it to survive.
He doesn't understand it. He doesn't get it. What good is there? ]
I don't look that bad.
[ Stubbornly. She's on his lap, injector spinning. His head tipped back slightly. ]
I just haven't had my mediation. That's all. I've been working otherwise.
[ On what? It's difficult to say. There's no economy here. No struggle. No desperation. What is there to work on?
Then again, what was Silco without something to work on? ]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-31 05:29 am (UTC)But he doesn't. All she sees is him withering, and is there something so undoing as a father slipping away? She's giving her usual signs that she's about to inject him, so he braces for the impact of shimmer.
It sucks big time.)
Right. Right, because that's why you're a skeleton. Can't fool me, Silco.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-31 11:55 pm (UTC)No. Being Angry. Being Driven. That's how one avoided it. That burgeoning despair. It was always there, but so much smaller. Now it's large. Now it threatens to swallow him whole, if he even dares look at it. Dares address it. ]
I've always been thin, Jinx.
[ He remarks. He waits for it, he'd waited for her to give it. It's... both familiar and not. He waits for it to come.
The anticipation is worse than the sting. ]
I even ate yesterday. I'm fine.
[ he's trying to distract himself from the incoming sting. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-06-11 08:18 pm (UTC)She knows he's always been thin. There's a difference between what is normal for him and 'eating yesterday as a parameter for good health', and it's not like he can't afford it. There's no money, there's no excuse. She tries to do it quick, a two punctures where it looks the worst, and she holds him so he can ride it with support.)
Nooooooooot conviced.
no subject
Date: 2025-06-14 08:22 pm (UTC)He breathed out as a single tear gathered at the edge of his eye.
He breathed in. Breathed out. ]
Jinx, I'm alive. I'm not exactly going to throw away this opportunity.
[ See, the thing is, Silco had always been bout the cause. Without it, he's aimless. The cracks show. The fact that he was a dead man walking, barely living as it was before shows. He had been motivated by the mission, the need to fix it all, a promise that still settled low in his chest next to his heart, where it pounded over and over again.
He doesn't have that anymore, so what does he have? It's just Jinx. And what a position that puts his daughter into, doesn't it? ]