(He doesn't get to do this anymore. Too much had transpired between them when Vi came back from Stillwater. The half-lies, the sneaky way he put things, she realizes it all in hindsight.
At times, they become whispers in her ear, and sometimes they win. Right now, however, they backfire as more spite. It's a push and pull, hot and cold, and his presence exacerbates it - not that she notices that part.
He does win her when he doesn't promise it. It feels honest, a promise to try that she can hold him accountable, even if she isn't really seeing that trying is a subjective matter.
A promise that he can very easily break, under many grounds, but that she hardly things of because she feels...
[ He confirms, because she had. Silco thinks he's in the right, believes it, because he's not been starting the fights. Perhaps he should have, but then again, would it have soothed anything? Or would it have driven her right back to Vander's family, where he'd comfort his daughter, tell her that it couldn't be helped, that Silco was poison, and always had been.
She would leave, she would leave, she would leave —
No, this is better. He let Vander's anger get the better of him. He let him do the lashing out. It was safer, and it continued to keep him in her good graces. Partially. Kind of. As best he could. ]
I don't want to be forced to leave you. [ he says. Pull, pull, pull. With him. It would always be just them. Even death couldn't separate them. He'd always be there for her. His mind circles around it, making it reality, forcing it into reality. ] I'll do anything to make sure I don't. I promise, I'll keep trying.
(He is incapable, and so is she. All the times she spoke to him when he wasn't there, the way she continues to seek something out of him that isn't tangible when he isn't alive to give it to her.
... But the way she is, as of now? The things she experienced, the short-lived idea of what his dream had been for her... The hero of Zaun. She hates it. She wants to live, and it's so hard to think of it when he's around.
They can fix it. So, with a sigh, she moves to wrap his arms around her, one arm at a time before she can do it to him, too.)
[ That's the rub, isn't it? He can't even be angry with her. Not for killing him, not for wanting to have a relationship with her other father; the one Silco would bury six feet under over and over and over if he could. It's a jealous thing, this father's love, but it is love for her, even if it's stained like toxic water from the Pilt.
He holds her tight, lets her guide it. Jinx always got what she wanted in the end from him. Everybody knew it in the Undercity, that if Jinx wanted something, she got it. He would make it happen.
So if she wants Silco to keep from fighting Vander? He would do his best. Mind, it would be avoiding him, but he would.
Then if he didn't comply... well. He would have the high ground, wouldn't he?
But at least for one moment, it's just them, like it always has been. There's never been anybody else, they're the only ones that won't leave. All they have is each other. A stifling sort of arrangement, is it actually what she needs? Or is it, as always, what he actually wants for her? ]
(Living without him has been... Strange, and yet, rewarding. To make her own path away from the footprints he left her, not having the certainty of what tomorrow may hold as he does not hold it for her. To see all that Zaun has become when there is no Silco to pick up the slack, and she? Jinx is no Silco.
Too emotional. Too exhausted.
The streets demand for her, and she can't put her mind to do it. Divided between trying to honor what they've done for her, and wanting to live. Breathing in right now does put some comfort and some security back in her even if it had been broken last she saw him alive.
Family is complicated, and she just sighs into his chest for a second before she lets go.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
(He doesn't get to do this anymore. Too much had transpired between them when Vi came back from Stillwater. The half-lies, the sneaky way he put things, she realizes it all in hindsight.
At times, they become whispers in her ear, and sometimes they win. Right now, however, they backfire as more spite. It's a push and pull, hot and cold, and his presence exacerbates it - not that she notices that part.
He does win her when he doesn't promise it. It feels honest, a promise to try that she can hold him accountable, even if she isn't really seeing that trying is a subjective matter.
A promise that he can very easily break, under many grounds, but that she hardly things of because she feels...
Safe. Push and pull, hot and cold.)
Fine. Fine!
no subject
[ He confirms, because she had. Silco thinks he's in the right, believes it, because he's not been starting the fights. Perhaps he should have, but then again, would it have soothed anything? Or would it have driven her right back to Vander's family, where he'd comfort his daughter, tell her that it couldn't be helped, that Silco was poison, and always had been.
She would leave, she would leave, she would leave —
No, this is better. He let Vander's anger get the better of him. He let him do the lashing out. It was safer, and it continued to keep him in her good graces. Partially. Kind of. As best he could. ]
I don't want to be forced to leave you. [ he says. Pull, pull, pull. With him. It would always be just them. Even death couldn't separate them. He'd always be there for her. His mind circles around it, making it reality, forcing it into reality. ] I'll do anything to make sure I don't. I promise, I'll keep trying.
no subject
(He is incapable, and so is she. All the times she spoke to him when he wasn't there, the way she continues to seek something out of him that isn't tangible when he isn't alive to give it to her.
... But the way she is, as of now? The things she experienced, the short-lived idea of what his dream had been for her... The hero of Zaun. She hates it. She wants to live, and it's so hard to think of it when he's around.
They can fix it. So, with a sigh, she moves to wrap his arms around her, one arm at a time before she can do it to him, too.)
Good.
no subject
[ That's the rub, isn't it? He can't even be angry with her. Not for killing him, not for wanting to have a relationship with her other father; the one Silco would bury six feet under over and over and over if he could. It's a jealous thing, this father's love, but it is love for her, even if it's stained like toxic water from the Pilt.
He holds her tight, lets her guide it. Jinx always got what she wanted in the end from him. Everybody knew it in the Undercity, that if Jinx wanted something, she got it. He would make it happen.
So if she wants Silco to keep from fighting Vander? He would do his best. Mind, it would be avoiding him, but he would.
Then if he didn't comply... well. He would have the high ground, wouldn't he?
But at least for one moment, it's just them, like it always has been. There's never been anybody else, they're the only ones that won't leave. All they have is each other. A stifling sort of arrangement, is it actually what she needs? Or is it, as always, what he actually wants for her? ]
no subject
Too emotional. Too exhausted.
The streets demand for her, and she can't put her mind to do it. Divided between trying to honor what they've done for her, and wanting to live. Breathing in right now does put some comfort and some security back in her even if it had been broken last she saw him alive.
Family is complicated, and she just sighs into his chest for a second before she lets go.)